Loading... Please wait...

Rated # 1 by ForbesFY EYE

Locations Order from The best of Chicago.com Gift Shop





#1 IN THE USA
  forbesfyeye.gif

And The Weiners Are..hotdog.gif.
05.13.02

Call it a red hot, Depression steak or diner dachshund-according to the National Hot Dog & Sausage Council, "we" eat some 20 billion wiener sandwiches each year. Still, questions linger: Boiled or grilled? (Grilled. Duh.) Aren't these basically just slices of bologna, shaped into a tube? (Sure.) And if so, why not dress them, like bologna sandwiches, with mayo? (Why not, indeed?) A half dozen compelling choices:

FLUKY'S FAT-FREE CHICAGO BRAND HOT DOGS-

THE SKINNY

A fingerling dog-ten to a one-pound packagefrom a company cooking 'em up since 1929. Fluky's makes many different kinds, but the fatfree version is so tasty it doesn't even feel like a compromise.

WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT YOU!

You're regular folks. Well, middle-aged regular folks.
mustard.gif

THE BEST NEWS

Celebrity endorsement from the late John Candy

BEVERAGE OF CHOICE

Light beer

WHERE TO FIND THEM

Ships nation-wide from www.flukys.com.


HEBREW NATIONAL DINNER BEEF FRANKS:

THE SKINNY

Burly, quarter-pound, all-beef dog made under rabbinical supervision; it uses no artificial flavors or fillers and has a rich, genuine meatiness.

WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT YOU!

You know a good thing when you taste it.

THE BEST NEWS

Answers to a Higher Authorityrelish.gif

BEVERAGE OF CHOICE

There are some good kosher wines. Really.

WHERE TO FIND THEM

Store deli counter, or www.hebrewnational.com.


NIMAN RANCH FEARLESS FRANKS:

THE SKINNY

Quarter-pound bun-bruiser from gourmet Marin County meat purveyor. Arguably the beefiesttasting dog around, smoked with real hickory wood.

WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT YOU!

Nothing is too good for the rich.

THE BEST NEWS

Humane animal treatment (except for killing and eating them) and sustainable agriculture practices

BEVERAGE OF CHOICE

Blow a few bucks on a juicy red Rhone.

WHERE TO FIND THEM

Ships nationwide from www.nimanranch.com.


OSCAR MEYER BEFF FRANK:

THE SKINNY

The baseline beef dog. Is blandness a sin?

WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT YOU!catsup.gif

You strive to get along without posing a threat

THE BEST NEWS

Still foots the bill for Wienermobiles and those plastic wiener whistles.

BEVERAGE OF CHOICE

Store-brand soda

WHERE TO FIND THEM

Look in the refrigerator; you probably already have some.


YVES VEGGIE CUISINE TOFU DOGS-

THE SKINNY

These soy protein tubes from a Vancouver vegetarian food outfit were easily the most artificialtasting of all these dogs, with a lingering fake smoke character reminiscent of melting rubber.

WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT YOU!

You're still demanding a recount for Nader.

THE BEST NEWS

There is no cholesterol in these. None.

BEVERAGE OF CHOICE

Don't wash down your food

WHERE TO FIND THEM

Next to the tofu crown roast. (Or try www.yvesveggie.com.)


ZWFIALFIS WHITE HOTS*

THE SKINNY

A kind of American boudin blanc, these beef, pork and veal dogs are white because they're nitratefree. They are a specialty of the Frozen North (in this case, Rochester, New York), spread to sunnier climes by the annual snowbird migration. Subtly spiced and smoky from the grill, they are the most intriguing hot dog on the chart.

WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT YOU!

You'd rather be curling.

THE BEST NEWS

The official hot dog of the Buffalo Bills

BEVERAGE OF CHOICE

Keg of Genesee Cream Ale

WHERE TO FIND THEM

Order from Calabresella's Imports, (585) 235-7860, or try Zweigle's website, www. Zweigles.com.