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Rated # 1 by ForbesFY EYE
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And The Weiners Are.. Call it a red hot, Depression steak or diner dachshund-according to the National Hot Dog & Sausage Council, "we" eat some 20 billion wiener sandwiches each year. Still, questions linger: Boiled or grilled? (Grilled. Duh.) Aren't these basically just slices of bologna, shaped into a tube? (Sure.) And if so, why not dress them, like bologna sandwiches, with mayo? (Why not, indeed?) A half dozen compelling choices: FLUKY'S FAT-FREE CHICAGO BRAND HOT DOGS- THE SKINNY A fingerling dog-ten to a one-pound packagefrom a company cooking 'em up since 1929. Fluky's makes many different kinds, but the fatfree version is so tasty it doesn't even feel like a compromise. WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT YOU! You're regular folks. Well, middle-aged regular folks. THE BEST NEWS Celebrity endorsement from the late John Candy BEVERAGE OF CHOICE Light beer WHERE TO FIND THEM Ships nation-wide from www.flukys.com. HEBREW NATIONAL DINNER BEEF FRANKS: THE SKINNY Burly, quarter-pound, all-beef dog made under rabbinical supervision; it uses no artificial flavors or fillers and has a rich, genuine meatiness. WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT YOU! You know a good thing when you taste it. THE BEST NEWS Answers to a Higher Authority BEVERAGE OF CHOICE There are some good kosher wines. Really. WHERE TO FIND THEM Store deli counter, or www.hebrewnational.com. NIMAN RANCH FEARLESS FRANKS: THE SKINNY Quarter-pound bun-bruiser from gourmet Marin County meat purveyor. Arguably the beefiesttasting dog around, smoked with real hickory wood. WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT YOU! Nothing is too good for the rich. THE BEST NEWS Humane animal treatment (except for killing and eating them) and sustainable agriculture practices BEVERAGE OF CHOICE Blow a few bucks on a juicy red Rhone. WHERE TO FIND THEM Ships nationwide from www.nimanranch.com. OSCAR MEYER BEFF FRANK: THE SKINNY The baseline beef dog. Is blandness a sin? WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT YOU! You strive to get along without posing a threat THE BEST NEWS Still foots the bill for Wienermobiles and those plastic wiener whistles. BEVERAGE OF CHOICE Store-brand soda WHERE TO FIND THEM Look in the refrigerator; you probably already have some. YVES VEGGIE CUISINE TOFU DOGS- THE SKINNY These soy protein tubes from a Vancouver vegetarian food outfit were easily the most artificialtasting of all these dogs, with a lingering fake smoke character reminiscent of melting rubber. WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT YOU! You're still demanding a recount for Nader. THE BEST NEWS There is no cholesterol in these. None. BEVERAGE OF CHOICE Don't wash down your food WHERE TO FIND THEM Next to the tofu crown roast. (Or try www.yvesveggie.com.) ZWFIALFIS WHITE HOTS* THE SKINNY A kind of American boudin blanc, these beef, pork and veal dogs are white because they're nitratefree. They are a specialty of the Frozen North (in this case, Rochester, New York), spread to sunnier climes by the annual snowbird migration. Subtly spiced and smoky from the grill, they are the most intriguing hot dog on the chart. WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT YOU! You'd rather be curling. THE BEST NEWS The official hot dog of the Buffalo Bills BEVERAGE OF CHOICE Keg of Genesee Cream Ale WHERE TO FIND THEM Order from Calabresella's Imports, (585) 235-7860, or try Zweigle's website, www. Zweigles.com. |
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